do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
