Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
they need to just BURY HIM!
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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