i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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