worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
