she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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