do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize