i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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