if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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