Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
