We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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