was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
