Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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