I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Can I color on your dick again?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
