This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
