Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
