Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
