My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
