Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
