I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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