Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Randomize
