Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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