i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
