we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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