I got chris browned last night
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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