stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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