Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
