I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize