We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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