I bet he comes in French.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize