i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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