haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just googled if crying burns calories
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
