he puts the penis in happiness.
He felt like a one man threesome
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
