she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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