i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
