walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
