I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
