he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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