By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
