Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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