Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
