So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
