I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
