She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
