Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
