Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
did you just send me my own nude
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
