So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
