oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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