im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
