how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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