IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My liver just had a heart attack.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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