fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Randomize
