I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
