I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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