Please don't use social media to get back at me.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
