Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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