thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize