Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize