When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
