He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize