Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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