im six kinds of drunk right now
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
