ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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