my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We're too hungover to prance.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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