My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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