Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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